I have decided to write about this theme because of a very special woman I had the pleasure to meet. She had been happily married for 18 years when suddenly from out of the blue her husband dropped a bombshell on her… he was seeing “someone” else. Although she is hurting inside, instead of resentment she felt gratitude for the years she was happily married having always something to say that makes you feel good. She is currently receiving massive support from all her friends and coping as best as possible. She has my unconditional respect.

Fell your grief, cry through your sadness but don’t let resentment invade your ‘self’. It is scientifically proven that resentment can make you ill. Diseases like arthritis, eating disorders, heart diseases, cancer and even mental problems have been associated with resentment.

The negative attitude of resentment will have a big effect not only in your health but also in other areas of your life. It will without doubt have a huge impact in the results you are having in all sectors: daily life, love life, career, friendships, the list goes on and on. How? When you resent someone or something you concentrate all your energy and thoughts in this feeling. Your life stagnates and life is like water; it needs to flow. Without the flowing it turns into poison rather then the most precious liquid on earth.

There is always a resentful person behind hostile, sarcastic and cynical attitudes. You become unable to perceive opportunities, to learn from your experiences and most important to LOVE.

I know you must be thinking it is easier said than done but just stop and reflect for a moment. Forgiveness is something that we do for ourselves not to others.

A good way to let the resentment go is writing. Write letters of forgiveness not to actually send but to start internalising that it is not good for you anymore to feel like this and to associate the object of your resentment with forgiveness.

Keep in mind that we are 100% responsible for our feelings. Two people can have the same experience and one will learn and become stronger and the other can become resentful and unhappy.

Don’t lose energy feeding and caring resentments. Instead learn to always transform experiences good or bad into lessons for your life.

“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye”. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry – Writer