What Emotions are you Addicted to?

The ability to change the course of our lives has long fascinated us all. The power to change completely the way things are happening in our lives is a thought that is always crossing our minds. To take control of every aspect of our lives and be able to remain unaffected by stressful situations seam sometimes an impossible dream to pursuit.

Knowledge is a great ally we can have to help us in anything we want to achieve. If we buy a new washing machine, new model full of new functions, the best on the market we will need to learn how it works and all the programs it can perform otherwise we won’t have all the benefit that it offers to us. If we want to become an accountant or a good cook we will need to acquire the proper knowledge to do so. However, when it comes to how we, human beings, operate we don’t give much attention about it and just switch on the auto pilot and live our lives in the lowest level of our real capacity.

We can be addicted to certain emotions and even worse use the powerful tool of our thoughts to feed these addictions. Emotions like victimisation, feeling guilty and feeling unworthy are as addictive as cocaine or heroine and can destroy our lives just as much. Surprised? The chemistry behind the emotions starts in the brain where we have stored all our memories and experiences and also emotional inheritance from our parents.

If the addiction is to be a victim it is because we have a program running in our brain saying that we are a victim. It can be because we had experiences in the past that made us believe we are a victim in all situations. It can also be inherited from our parents. So every time we have an experience that reminds us of these past experiences our thoughts cause the brain to produce certain chemicals that are flushed into our body and bound in our cells. After doing it over and over again in our lives these cells get addicted to these chemicals and if they don’t receive their fix they will start to send signals to the brain asking for it. The next thing is that from anything we experience in our lives we will find a way to start thinking about something that will make us feel a victim and the cells will then have their fix. This process will go on and on.

Sound crazy? Let me give an example. Let’s say you are in a queue in the bank and when it is almost time to be served the cashier closes the till. This event will probably trigger thoughts of how things happens just with you and how it was always like this, everybody is unfair with you and then before you realise it you are experiencing victimization emotion and giving your cells a fix.

Now as our body is addicted to these chemicals we are always going to find a way to have a fix. This means that we are unconsciously going to search in our everyday life for every opportunity to feel this way. Just the same way when we buy a car or we know someone who bought a specific car model we are going to see it everywhere. Before we wouldn’t notice this model at all but now we tend to see it incredibly often. The same way, we scan for situations that is familiar to our past memories and experiences of victimisation or unworthiness or angriness or guiltiness.

Avalanches of chemicals can be triggered by a single thought. When our body is begging for a fix and sending signals to the brain we will suddenly remember something from the past and from a fine state we will change our mood in seconds to feel angry, a victim, unworthy or guilty.

That’s why some people spend years and years in abusive relationships and can’t get out or work in a job that makes them extremely unhappy. They are addicted to feeling like this and even if they break up the relationship or find another job they will end up in another similar situation.

As I mentioned before knowledge can make all the difference. If we make an effort to learn how our brains work we can transform our old selves into who we want to be. So next time you catch yourself having these thoughts to fix your addictions just interrupt them and think the opposite.

How Does Stress Affect The Human Body

Stress is the way our bodies respond to physical or emotional demands. The body responds in two ways neurologically and chemically. The neurological response is a very fast process where our bodies prepare us to fight or flee. Adrenaline is produced in huge amounts and our blood changes its course to our extremities. Instead of going to the internal organs like digestive system and others the blood is directed to the muscles so we are prepared to fight or flee.

The chemical response is not as fast as the neurological one but is more worrying because it can be activated by thought. Just by thinking about a stressful situation will cause our bodies to respond by realising colossal amounts of the two hormones Adrenaline and Glucocorticoids (the latter more commonly known as cortisol).

By flooding our system with these stress hormones our body will stop crucial activities like regeneration and repair, digestion, taking up glucose which may cause diabetes and our immune system will be put on temporary hold. For the immune system be put on hold is quiet a disaster for the body defences as it stops the fight against viruses and bacteria that can lead to infection and illness. An efficient immune system can detect and get rid of cancer cells in their very early stages. Unfortunately cancer cells multiply at a merciless speed once they gain a foothold.

Stress has always been part of our lives and our bodies have developed to cope with a reasonable level of it but if we are constantly living in survival mode our bodies will not be able to cope because we are not designed to live under continuous stress. Whether we are running from a bear trying to save ourselves or having stressful thoughts like trying to meet deadlines, the body responds in the same way to give us the extra energy and other important functions are put on temporary hold.

How about our heart? Again, no matter if the stress is physical or mental the response will be the same. If we see a bear in the woods our heart beat increases and the blood pressure rises to store additional energy to send to our legs for running or to our arms for fighting. We do not need to be brilliant to conclude that this will continue until the danger is past, causing arrhythmia, tachycardia and high blood pressure.

In stress mode even eating healthily will not be of much help as the digestive system is compromised and cannot metabolize the food properly. Similarly, even exercising is not as effective in relieving stress if your emotional state is upset.

Recent studies have shown that as many as 90% of people visit their doctors because of some physical illness which is stress related. Pain in the shoulder, migraine, stomach ache, or high cholesterol is just a few that can be connected with stress.

How Anger Can Affect Your Life And Health

Feelings are intangible nevertheless powerful enough to sweep our lives with the force of a hurricane. Who is in charge of your life, you or your feelings?

Anger is one of those very powerful feelings that we have to keep an eye on all times. Anger can dominate and slowly destroy your relationship with family and friends, sabotage your professional life and jeopardise your ability to connect with people in general. Anger can also cause physical illness. A study made by psychologist Stephen Bruehl, Ph.D. showed that chronic pain is associated with expressed and repressed anger. So no matter if we expressed or repressed it we will get the consequences. The American Academy of Neurology Journal published that people who had strokes experienced anger at least 2 hours before the stroke.

Learning and understanding the functioning of a certain feeling can help us to keep it in control and free us from addiction. Yes, that’s right addiction. Do you know that we can get addicted to certain feelings the same way we can get addicted to drugs? Every time we experience anger strong chemicals called peptides are released into our brain and they literally dock in our receptor cells. This process causes an intense avalanche of biochemical actions. As a result we became addicted to this discharge of chemicals meaning that we at some level feel a morbid pleasure to these reactions.

Once addicted and UNAWARE of the whole process behind it we have no choice but to repeat it over and over again until it gets to a point of exhaustion. At this point we can’t change or control our anger because we are trapped in the vicious cycle of stimuli and responses.

Once we are AWARE of what is happening we can regain control of the situation using the power of observation. Through observation you can start looking closely into your anger patterns and start changing your behaviour radically and consistently until it is permanent without effort. If we can’t do it by ourselves let’s seek help before it is too late.

Ask yourself this question: Can I control my anger? If not, you are addicted. You can ask this same question to check all other feelings and find out if you are addicted to any of them.

Richard Gross in his book ‘Psychology The Science of Mind and Behaviour’ says: “Mr Spock in Star Trek often points out to Captain Kirk how much energy human beings waste through reacting emotionally to things, when a more logical and rational approach would be more productive. But would we be human at all if we didn’t react this way?”

Keep Resentment Out Of Your Life

“To cherish secrets and hold back emotion is a psychic misdemeanour for which nature finally revisits with sickness.” Carl Jung –Psychoanalytic